Have you ever wondered what the Bible says about men and women, relationships, sex and marriage?
Perhaps you think you already know what it says. Perhaps you have been told that Christianity is all about a long list of things that are out of bounds. Maybe you think Christians are anti-women and anti-sex, and that to be a Christian would mean giving up on pleasure and living a boring life, so you aren’t really interested in what the Bible has to say.
We live in a society that, in general, has the view that pretty much anything goes in regards to sex and relationships. The “sexual revolution” promised freedom and a world where there were no restraints on pleasure. And yet we have become an increasingly unhappy and unstable society.
There is increasing concern about sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, sexual violence and general unhappiness in relationships. So something isn’t working. What has gone wrong?
Louise Perry in her book: The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century[1] says “What we need is a new morality, a new set of virtues: the sexual revolution failed..”
But do we need a new set of virtues? Will you look with me at what the Bible actually says about relationships and sex and consider whether it has already given us the best way of living?
God is the creator
The Bible begins with these words:
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”
God created everything from nothing and Genesis chapter 1 tells us that He created everything by just speaking. He created the sun, moon and stars; plants and trees; animals, birds and fish. Last of all he created a man and a woman, the grand finale of His wonderful world. [2]
You may be reading this and not believe in God or you may have been taught that the world came about by chance, but why not investigate more about what the Bible says. Think about a beautiful painting or a skilfully created smartphone – we know that they don’t happen by chance. Someone designed and created them for a purpose. How much more must our wonderful world have had a creator who designed every detail for a purpose.
God’s ways are good
The Bible tells us that not only did God create the world but also that He rules over it with power and authority. Psalm 62v11 says:
“Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God…”
We often think of power and authority as a negative thing because we frequently see it being abused but the next part of this verse says:
“…and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.”
Psalm 100v5 tells us:
For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”
God is powerful and He is good and He is loving – a love that can be completely relied on unlike human love.
Psalm 100 also says:
“Know that the Lord, he is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”
God designed us and He takes care of us. Because God is good His design is also good and His care of us is good.
So in the same way that if we want to understand how best to use a new iPhone we go to the Apple website, if we want to know how we function best as people we need to go to the Maker’s manual – the Bible!
So what does the Bible say about relationships, marriage and sex?
God designed marriage
In the second chapter of Genesis we read:
“…a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
God created man and woman and then tells us that He has designed marriage – a man and a woman will leave the families they grew up with and become united together as a couple in marriage which includes a sexual relationship. This sexual relationship is a gift from God to bring a husband and wife closer together emotionally and physically, with the potential to create a new life.
Later in the Bible Jesus quotes Genesis and adds emphasis to the fact that marriage is to be lifelong. Matthew 19v4-6:
“‘Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’”
In the Bible we also read that marriage was designed by God to be a picture which points to the relationship between Jesus and the Church (all those who love and trust Him).
So marriage is God’s idea and as we have seen that He is a good God – so His design is good. Sexual intimacy when used wrongly can be dangerous and harmful but we flourish best when we follow God’s design.
[1] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Case-Against-Sexual-Revolution/dp/1509549994
[2] https://lovewiseonline.org/created-male-and-female/
