Everything and everyone whom God created is described as good in the first chapter of Genesis. In striking contrast God declares that ‘It is not good that the man should be alone’ and in response He made him ‘a helper fit for him’.
God speaks with perfect wisdom. So we should not be surprised that the commitment and care of a lifelong husband or wife greatly benefits their spouse.
Winston Churchill expressed this fact in this way:
‘Dear to the hearts and homes of the people is the joy and pride of a united family; with this all the troubles of the world can be borne, and all its ordeals at least confronted.’[1]
Studies show that married couples are generally happier than those who are cohabiting or single.[2][3] These observations cannot be explained away as a selection bias in types of people who marry but a positive benefit of the married relationship.[4][5] We mustn’t forget however that as Christians we know that singleness is also a good gift from God and if we are single and seeking to follow God then we can be content.[6]
Do studies reveal why married couples are happier? The answer is clear. They flourish, not surprisingly, in the security, love and intimacy of the married home. The promise to love and cherish ‘for better, for worse’ means that whatever difficulties, disappointments and challenges someone might experience, a spouse is there to help by listening and caring. For many couples, the emotional benefits of marriage are especially evident when it comes to the demands of raising children where practical support and encouragement in the sacrifices of parenthood are so needed and appreciated.
The consequences of this greater happiness are worked out in measurable outcomes. Married people are better protected from addiction to drugs and alcohol, and taking their own life[7].
All this confirms that the promises about the blessings of marriage in Psalm 128 still hold true some 2,700 years after they were penned:
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house,
Your children will be like olive shoots round your table.
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.”
Psalm 128:3-4
[1] Speech 7th February 1952 on the death of King George VI quoted in ‘Never give in’ p 477
[2] In a long-term study of the happiness of American young people (18-35 years old), those who were married were almost twice as happy as likely to be happy as those who were not. See https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-adult-happiness-from-1990-to-2022-is-down-a-bit-why
[3] See Chapter 5 of ‘The Case for Marriage – why married people are happier, healthier and better off financially’, by Linda White and Maggie Gallagher (Broadway Books published 2000) entitled ‘Happy ever after’ which looks in detail at the evidence for the emotional benefits of marriage.
[4] In a summary of the study (see reference 2) of American young people, the author concludes, ‘The positive correlation between marriage and happiness is a well-established social science finding…it seems safe to say that the relationship between happiness and marriage can be attributed to both causality and selectivity: marriage makes people happier, and happier people are more likely to get married in the first place.’
[5] The authors of reference 3 above conclude: ‘The selection of happy and healthy people into marriage cannot explain the big advantage in mental and health husbands and wives enjoy’ p68
[6] Learning to be content in singleness
[7] See ref 3 above p67-71
