In the previous articles we have looked at the benefits of marriage to the couple who are married and to any children they may have but of course many people would argue that cohabiting would give the same benefits and as a result many people see marriage as unnecessary or optional. The number of people getting married in the UK has decreased steadily [1] and this article predicts that if the trend continues marriage will have almost disappeared by the second half of this century.
However, statistics are clear that marriage increases the likelihood of a couple remaining together and therefore that the couple and their children will reap the benefits. Recent statistics from the Millenium Cohort Study [2] , looking at whether or not children live with both parents, show clearly that relationships are more likely to last long term when the couple are married.
Some people may argue that this is because those who are more committed are more likely to get married rather than it being the act of getting married that makes a couple more likely to stay together. It is likely that both are true. The vows that a married couple make show their intention to commit to each other and – having made those promises before God, friends and family – make it more likely that they will be able to keep those promises.
Many people believe that living together before getting married gives them a chance to be sure they are making the right decision in getting married however there is increasing evidence[3] that getting married before moving in together makes it more likely that the marriage will last.
“In relative terms, the marriages of those who moved in together before being engaged were 48% more likely to end than the marriages of those who only cohabited after being engaged or already married.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
Genesis 2v24
In Genesis we see the deliberate nature of the decision to leave parents and commit to each other; only then do they have a sexually intimate relationship. And Jesus later endorses this and then adds that this commitment is for life.
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Matthew 16v4-6
If you would like to read more on cohabitation, there is a chapter in the book Challenges to Living God’s Way.
[1] https://ifstudies.org/blog/marriage-is-disappearing-from-britain
[2] https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/MF-research-note-Source-of-family-breakdown.pdf
[3] https://ifstudies.org/reports/whats-the-plan-cohabitation/2023/executive-summary
