Claiming to be ‘bisexual’ seems to be popular at the moment. It can mean different things to different people. To some it means being sexually attracted to both sexes. To others it means wanting to be or being in a sexual relationship with both sexes. Sometimes it is not only a description of desire or action, but also claims a label which determines a certain way of life – marked by a characteristic philosophy or morality, which affirms the right to be bisexual.
The Bible is so helpful here in putting this into perspective. The Bible distinguishes what we desire from what we do, and who we are from what we desire.
What we desire should not necessarily determine what we do
We may find the opposite or both sexes attractive. Yet, the Bible teaches us, as Christians, not to simply follow our desires, but to follow what God says. The Bible teaches that God designed sex for the lifelong commitment of marriage between a husband and wife. This means that sexual intimacy outside of heterosexual marriage is wrong whether it is indulged in between people of the opposite sex or the same sex .
Currently in Western society, sexual intimacy appears to be accepted as a recreational activity to be indulged in by two or more people, regardless of their sex, and in situations where there is no ongoing loving relationship or commitment. It might just result from a spur of the moment desire, sometimes fuelled by alcohol or drugs or loneliness. This is a long way from the lifelong, loving, committed relationship of marriage for which God designed sex. Sex is very precious and involves a unity, not only of our bodies, but also of our emotions and spirits. Using sex outside the way God has designed brings dangers to our physical, emotional and spiritual health.
A desire to do something wrong is called a temptation. We are directed to flee from such temptations . There is a war going on in every Christian, between such temptations and the Holy Spirit who lives in us . Don’t be surprised if you still have sinful desires after conversion – in fact the Bible warns that our enemy, Satan, will attack us with such temptations. We are not to be victims of such wrong desires. By the power of God’s Spirit our desires can and will change as we prayerfully submit them to Him.
What we desire should not determine who we are
It is easy to define ourselves by what we find attractive. This is especially true during adolescence, when a young person is working through many issues and exploring who they are in terms of their social and sexual personal identity. Confusion and variation of sexual feelings during this period of development is common, and does not mean that you should be labelled as bisexual, because your adult life choices may be very different.
Each human being is special because he or she is unique and a spiritual being made in the image of God. Furthermore, if you are a Christian your identity does not primarily consist in being a nurse, or a guitarist, or an Everton supporter, or in how you feel sexually attracted, but in being a follower of Jesus Christ.
At the time of Christian conversion a person becomes a new creation in Christ . We are united to Him and are required to keep in step with His Spirit. Everything else fades in significance as we enjoy belonging to God. As we master sinful desires and grow in grace, we will surely want to shake off all other labels. What a calling! What a privilege! What an identity!
- 1 Corinthians 6:9 ‘Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,…’
- 1 Corinthians 6:18 ‘Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.’
- Galatians 5:16-17 ‘But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.’
- 2 Corinthians 5:17 ‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.’