My name is Ike, I was born in Nigeria, I came to England when I was seven years old, I was raised in Manchester, I come from a Christian background. I’m a virgin – I choose to honour God this way till marriage.
From a young age I was very conscious of my attraction to women, I was very sure of that, we would enter college, the pressure is still on, ‘Who’ve you slept with? Who’ve you done this with, or done that?’ and it’s almost like if you haven’t done it, your innocence – you’re almost guilty for being innocent. And for me, I guess I was discovering more of who I was, and at that season of my life, I was actually moving in the direction of ‘I don’t actually care what the world thinks of me, I think I’m really more concerned about what God thinks of me’.
Foundationally we understand from the Bible that ‘God made them male and female’, and I think the desire that a male has for a female and that a female has for a male is natural, it’s in-built in them. They didn’t need to work for this, they didn’t need to train for this, it’s just – it’s a given. And these attractions can be managed – the Bible talks a lot about fleeing sexual immorality, fleeing youthful lusts, talks about treating your female friends and females like your sisters – so a lot of these things to me shaped my view on how I see women. I didn’t see women as objects, rather I saw them – although I was attracted to them, I knew there was a limit to how far I could go.
One of the encouragements, and one of the challenges I have for young people today is that despite the peer pressure and despite the voices and the noises that they hear outside, they do have, you have a choice. You can choose to wait, and you can have self-control in this area. I remember one Scripture that talks about, there’s no temptation that’s taken us, that is not common to man. These are all common. Jesus faced it, Moses faced it, everyone faced it, Paul faced it, these are all common challenges and temptations that we all face. But God’s grace is sufficient for us, in this season, or any temptation, to overcome.
As believers, we have the indwelling presence of God in us, and we also have the Holy Spirit to guide us – our teacher, our comforter, our strength – and many times I can’t say you depend on your own strength. For me to share my story and say ‘You can live a pure life by depending on your strength, your willpower, not to watch this, not to go there’ – you’re flesh, you will fail. This flesh will fail you. But trusting in God for grace, for wisdom, and also obeying him when he nudges you – because most often than not we do hear the nudge, it’s whether we obey, or whether we allow ourselves to be led by the Spirit or our flesh. But following the Spirit will always lead us towards life and peace, as the Bible talks about as well.View