A crucial aspect of a good marriage is to complement one another: husband and wife each act in different ways for the good of both.

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Remember your role

Complementarity is an essential part of God designed marriage. To complement means to act together in different ways for the good of both. One essential element of the first marriage was that God brought Eve to Adam as his “helper”. She was his companion and his partner in reproduction. She was different from him, but together they functioned better than each did separately. They were to form an inseparable union, described in the Bible as becoming “one flesh” for the rest of their lives.

In Paul’s letter to the Christians in Ephesus in the Bible, it is explained that God has given the responsibility for leadership in a marriage to the husband, and that this is loving leadership, modelled on the way Christ loves and sacrificed Himself for His church (Ephesians 5:25) [1]. The wife, on the other hand, is to submit to her husband in the same way that the church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:24) [2].

We must not confuse value and roles. Both husband and wife are equal in value in the sight of God…

So in developing a relationship before marriage, it is important that young women think whether they could submit to the man they are considering marrying and the young man considers whether he could lead in this marriage. Of course this kind of Biblical teaching will not be popular in today’s society where marital roles have been blurred by ideologies such as individualism or feminism. We must not confuse value and roles. Both husband and wife are equal in value in the sight of God, but this does not mean they have the same roles. God has given the husband the responsibility for final decisions, this does not mean that a wife cannot share her view of things, but needs to accept her husband’s leadership. She can trust God that by submitting to the structure He has arranged, she will enjoy protection and fulfilment.

The differences between men and women help a husband and wife to make a strong team to take on the responsibilities and challenges of family life.

  1. Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”
  2. Ephesians 5:24 “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”