When we separate the act of sex from real people and real relationships, it can distort and confuse our minds and affect how we relate to others.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Using pornography makes it harder to form a good relationship.

Pornography cuts up a person by separating the object of lust from the reality of the person – their lives, thoughts, needs and situation. When we separate the act of sex from real people and real relationships, it can distort and confuse our minds. The consequences are that we have distorted expectations and behaviour when it comes to making healthy, long-lasting relationships.

Pornography does not teach you to look for someone who you get along with, who you respect and care for. Instead, it emphasises physical qualities and makes the fulfilment of sexual desire the highest goal.

A lot of pornography is degrading towards women. It may teach men to see women as inferior to them and to act this way in their relationships with real women. This will make it hard to establish caring relationships. Pornography sends the message that a woman’s worth is based on how she looks. This may also encourage girls to attract men by trying to look and behave in a provocative way. This will not attract attention for the right reasons and is likely to lead to hurt or rejection in the longer term.

Pornography also sends the message that a man’s worth is based on his sexual ability rather than on his ability to love, be faithful, take responsibility and work hard. Impotence in young men is becoming an increasing problem and has been linked with pornography use [1].

Using pornography can cause marriages to break down.

Using pornography is like cheating on your partner. Sexual intimacy is designed to be shared between one man and one woman in the committed relationship of marriage. Using pornography allows you to experience sexual arousal without your husband or wife [2]. This is being unfaithful to them in your mind and with your emotions.

I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:28

Pornography can cause marriages to breakdown because it leads to lies and mistrust. Many people keep their viewing of pornography a secret. If a husband or wife finds this out, they may feel betrayed and angry that they have been lied to. This makes it harder for them to trust their spouse in the future.

Using pornography damages future marriage.

The possibility of getting married may seem a long way off to a young person, but sexual arousal through pornography not only damages the lives of those who are married, it may also affect a future marriage. Using pornography leaves lasting images in the mind and can affect a person’s emotions, expectations and attitude. Even after stopping using pornography, its effects may still cause problems in a future marriage.

  1. Tim Jacobs, Björn Geysemans, Guido Van Hal, et al, Is online pornography consumption linked to offline sexual dysfunction in young men? A multivariate analysis based on an international web-based survey, JMIR Public Health and Surveillance, September 2021
  2. fightthenewdrug.org