Practical steps to help us as we leave friends and family and start living in an unfamiliar place

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Everyone feels lonely sometimes.  However, according to a survey[1] conducted in 2023 of 10,000 students, one in four students felt lonely most or all of the time. That’s four times higher than the average population.

It’s not surprising that students might be more vulnerable to loneliness than the average person.  After all, as very young adults, students going to university are often, for the first time, having to leave their home, their family, their established friends and all that’s familiar to them –  all in one go.  And that’s a huge and difficult change for anyone.

As Christians, however, we have the reassurance and comfort that even as we venture out into a new and unfamiliar place we are never alone.  God is always with us.

Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” 

Joshua 1:9

Plan to spend time in prayer and in God’s word each day. As we invest in the most important relationship of all, God can give us peace in our unfamiliar surroundings and grow our faith as we rely on Him in facing all the new challenges of Uni life.

When we’re away from our family and missing home, God can also bless us through a new Christian family.  A few weeks ago we looked at the importance of finding a good church and joining the Christian Union when you first start university.  Settling well into a new church can provide much needed spiritual support at a time when we might otherwise feel very isolated, and many good churches provide welcome events or host families to help care for new students as well.  Seeking out other Christians and making new Christian friends is vitally important because you can encourage one another to trust God when you’re finding things difficult, and you also have someone to be accountable to as you resist unhelpful temptations together.

Be careful not to yearn for a boyfriend/ girlfriend mistakenly thinking that that will solve all problems of loneliness.  Leaping into a relationship for the wrong reasons would not be wise and will only cause greater heartache and loneliness in the long run.  Value the gift of singleness, make the most of opportunities to strengthen lots of good friendships, and trust God to provide you with the right person to marry one day if that is His will.

It can be helpful to keep in touch with your family regularly as well – they will probably be missing you too and will be interested in hearing about how you’re getting on at Uni.

Don’t forget to keep looking out for other students who might be lonely so that you can encourage and be a good friend to others.  It’s often as we focus on serving God and caring for others that God blesses us with confidence in Him and replaces our loneliness or sadness with joy and thankfulness.

So take heart, whilst there will undoubtedly be times when you’ll feel homesick, most Christians look back on University as a time when their faith has been both tested and strengthened, and when they’ve also made some of the best and strongest friendships they’ve ever made – sometimes they are deep and long-lasting friendships that stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”             

Isaiah 41:10


[1] Student-Academic-Experience-Survey-2023.pdf (hepi.ac.uk)