Susan and Max have been married for three years. Susan shares three things she has learned about marriage.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

1. What sharing a life with someone really means.

With these joys of marriage come responsibilities too. We had to think carefully about our actions and reactions.

When we got married we knew we were committing to a life together, but what that really meant became clear as time went on. We were now on the same team, rooting for each other and our marriage. We had to plan our future together, giving our all to each other and not holding back ‘just in case’. We enjoy something special, something that goes deep and is supportive, and includes love, trust, sex and friendship.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

With these joys of marriage come responsibilities too. We had to think carefully about our actions and reactions. We no longer just represented ourselves; we two had become one (Genesis 2:24). That does not mean that you are no longer you, but it does mean that you owe your loyalty to someone else. You should always think how your actions and reactions will impact the person you love, how you talk to other people about them, as well as how you talk to them. You should not be fake, but kind, generous and patient. We had to learn to live this way.

2. Your marriage can help others.

The good things about marriage are not just limited to us as a pair. It can encourage and bring joy to others. A single man who visited our home regularly said how much he valued being included in family activities. Our marriage could also help others who came to us for help and advice, so that they could understand things better from both a husband’s and a wife’s perspective.

Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Hebrews 13:4a

3. Difficulties can strengthen a marriage.

Sometimes marriage can be hard. Difficulties will test a marriage and often reveal our weaknesses and our strengths to each other in a new way. Fighting through together has helped us build a deeper and more solid companionship.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Romans 12:12