Most people desperately want to love and be loved.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

This is no surprise since God made us in His image and God is love [1]. Sadly, we live in a society where love is often equated with sex and Satan has deceived many into thinking that giving in to sexual desires will secure love and that compromising on Biblical standards is of little consequence. In reality, the opposite is true and the consequences of ignoring God’s commands may be sadness and regret. So what will help love to last?

Choosing wisely

After the initial attraction, friendship is a good place to start a relationship and time spent in each other’s company will show whether that friendship grows or withers. Prayer that God would show you whether this relationship is right for you both is also important. If the relationship progresses, you will want to think about issues relevant to the future. You might consider what his/her life’s ambitions are and whether you can really trust and respect each other. It is important to ask whether you both look forward to having children, how you would want to bring them up and whether he/she is the kind of person you would want to be the father/mother of your children. The kind of church you would both want to attend is another important consideration.

Avoiding sexual sin

There is a general lack of appreciation of sexual purity within our society and even in the church. It is therefore important to take practical steps in a relationship to avoid falling into sexual sin. This will include sharing your desire for purity with your boyfriend/girlfriend, avoiding situations where temptation is greater and being accountable to other Christian family or friends.

Repenting of past sin

If you have already gone too far physically, it is important to repent by saying you are sorry to God. As a couple, you also need to forgive each other and make a decision to avoid further mistakes. With the freedom we can receive from the forgiveness of our sins through the death of Jesus Christ, we can make a fresh start. Strengthen yourself through praying to God, reading the Bible and attending church. It is good to remember that the person you are going out with or are engaged to is not your husband or wife, and may never be. God commands us to be faithful and pure, not giving ourselves over to immorality, which includes all sexual intimacy outside marriage [2]. God’s commandment preserves something, which is very precious, for the right time and the right context of marriage.

So don’t feel pressurised or be pressurised into sexual intimacy. Many regret it when they have been. Keep sex to confirm your commitment of marriage, rather than sex always being a reminder of something that should not have preceded the life-long commitment. Be patient. Keeping to God’s standards reduces the baggage taken into marriage and helps build a foundation for happiness and a love that will last.

  1. 1 John 4:8 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
  2. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;…”