Keeping sex till marriage – good plan or not so good plan? Initially, I would actually say I wasn’t so confident that it was a good plan. I’ve had second thoughts, I’ve had doubts, I’ve been like ‘Wait, why am I punishing myself?’, you know, ‘I have opportunities to engage sexually, why am I restricting something that my body wants?’ However, from some of the stories, from some of the evidence, from some of the real-life things I’ve seen in front of me, I think marriage, waiting till marriage to have sex, is a good plan. And some of my friends, some of my colleagues, have actually advised me personally and said ‘Ike, if you haven’t started on this path, don’t start’. And also, adding to that, I now see some examples around me of marriages that are working, and I’m like, ‘I want that’. Unfortunately I’ve also seen examples of marriages that have not worked and I’ve learnt lessons from both sides. And to me I desire my marriage to work, and I realise that for a marriage to work, the foundation you are laying as a single, is setting you up for either a successful marriage or not such successful marriage.
I grew up in a family where Mum and Dad were around. They’ve had their challenges but they still stayed around, I’ve not had the challenge of divided parents, divided single parent home. And I want that for my family too. Not only do I feel it’s healthy but I think it’s a good environment to raise children and also for general happiness. I think everyone deep down really wants sustainable relationships, I think we’re wired for relationships, and the breakage is the reality but is not the desired outcome.
And most importantly, why do I think marriage is a good plan, because God has clearly stated in His word, in various places, that marriage is an honourable thing, and bed undefiled, should I say bed, a holy bed, you know, preparing the way for the marriage. So what you do before marriage is equally as important as what you’ll see after it. I hope to uphold God’s principles, and to live a life that is honouring of Him, single and married but it’s not easy, but once again, it’s possible and God will help us.View