In our society, there’s such a big pressure to be in a relationship but is finding that special someone really the most important goal in life?

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

Does it seem like almost everyone is getting a Valentine’s Day card except you? Are you just fed up with all your friends being in couples and being too busy planning their romantic dates to spend any time with you?

Valentine’s Day can be hard when you’re single.  In our society, there’s such a big pressure to be in a relationship and practically everything on social media sends us the message that finding that special someone is the most important goal in life above all else.

But the Bible reassures us that, rather than being second-best, being single is a good gift from God and one which we should be thankful for (and make the most of) whilst we have it.

The Bible praises the gift of singleness since those who are single can serve God in ways which might be more difficult for those who are married, having much greater freedom and time than those who have the responsibilities of a spouse and family.

The apostle Paul wrote:

An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:32-3 

All of us start off having the gift of singleness.  Some of us continue to have this gift our whole lives, whilst others might exchange this gift at some point for the gift of marriage. Further on still, some may find themselves widowed and having the gift of singleness once again.

Whichever state we find ourselves in, the important thing is being content as we trust in God’s good plans for our lives and using our gifts to serve God to the fullest in those circumstances. [1]

Marriage is designed by God and so marriage is a good gift as well [2].  Furthermore, the Bible tells us that marriage is an image which points towards the far greater and perfect eternal relationship between us and Christ [3].  In some ways Christian marriage is a bit like a trailer for a movie – something which gives us just a taste of what the real thing might be like – but our eternal relationship with Christ is the movie, the real thing which we can all look forward to as believers whatever our marital status now.

It’s not wrong to seek a suitable person to marry, but it’s important we don’t make this an idol in our lives or end up compromising on God’s instructions (starting a relationship with someone who is not a believer for example [4]) because we’re putting that desire above our desire to honour God and seek Him first.

So, if you’re single this Valentine’s Day, be thankful for your gift and trust that God will bring the right person into your life if that is God’s will for you.  But in the meantime, why not make the most of your freedom by serving at school, college or church and don’t underestimate the importance and value of being a really good friend to those around you.

If others are feeling down or lonely this Valentine’s, why not organise an alternative social for you all?  Enjoy relaxing as a group of friends and be an encouragement and blessing to each other.

  1. Romans 8:28 We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His Purpose
  2. Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.
  3. Ephesians 5:31-32  “ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’  This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.”  
  4. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?